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What is Dating Violence?
Dating violence is the abuse of one partner by the other in a relationship. This violence is not limited to physical abuse. It also includes verbal, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. Many teenagers think that it cannot happen to them, but that is definitely a myth. Dating violence is about power and control and is pat of a larger pattern to try and control you. Even if you are not being hurt physically, verbal and emotional abuse are just as painful and often times lead to physical abuse.
Statistics & Facts
- 1 out of every 4, or 28%, of all teens will be involved in an abusive relationship.
- 95% of reported abuse is male violence towards females.
- Teen dating violence can happen to anyone, regardless of his or her social status or what kind of home they come from.
- 70% of parenting or pregnant teens are abused by their boyfriends.
Early Warning Signs
Abusers may start out small, but will eventually develop into more violent acts. Here are some early warning signs for you to watch for in a relationship...
Intimidation:
- Threatening gestures
- Shouting to gain control
- Driving recklessly
- Use of size to overpower victim
Destruction:
- Destroying personal property
- Taking or hiding things from you
Weapons:
- Abuser has an unusual fascination with weapons
- Use of weapons to scare or intimidate victim
- Use of weapons to assault or hurt the victim in any way
Ways to Get Out of An Abusive Relationship
If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship, here are some safety tips to follow to help break free.
- Talk to someone you trust - family, friends, counselors, etc...
- Trust your instincts. If you think you are in danger, get help immediately.
- Try not to be alone with your partner. Try to stay in public places.
- Before going out with them, let others know where you will be and when you will be home.
- Break up with your partner in a public place. You may want to take a friend or parent with you if you do not feel safe
- After breaking up, keep an extra eye out for anything you do not feel safe about. If you have a feeling something is not right, or that you are being followed, you can call the police.
Reasons People Stay in an Abusive Relationship
Love People who abuse are not always hurtful and abusive. In fact, most of the time they are likeable, loving people. Many victims think that love is enough and that if they continue to love and support the abuser that their behavior will change and they will stop the abuse. This, unfortunately, is not the case. Abusers will not change unless they want to change themselves.
Fear Many times the abuser will threaten to hurt himself or herself or the victim if the victim chooses to leave. Often times the abuser will threaten that the abuse will become worse if the victim decides to leave, and that is usually enough to scare the victim into staying in the relationship.
Doubt It is very hard to admit that you are in an abusive relationship. You may want to overlook the bad times and focus on only the good times.
Embarrassment Victims may feel embarrassed to ask for help in getting out of the situation. It is not easy to admit you need assistance. It is always important to get help. Talk to someone you can trust and someone who will help you.
The Effects of Abuse
Abuse can affect different people in different ways, both physically and mentally. Here are some common effects of dating violence...
- Physical injury
- Depression
- Terror/Fear
- Anxiety
- Guilt
- Death or Suicide
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