Below is a list of our Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs). This list is to help you get some answers to common questions. If your question isn't here, please contact us and someone will be more than happy to help answer your questions.
How do you define domestic violence?
Abuse is a pattern of physically and emotionally violent and coercive behaviors that one person uses to exercise power and control over another.
What are some myths surrounding domestic violence?
Myth: A man's home is his castle and he can behave however he wants.
Fact: Not true. When his behavior is harmful or abusive to his family, society has a right to intervene just as it would if he abused a stranger.
Myth: Women deserve to be battered - sometimes they ask for it.
Fact: No one deserves to be abused. People who abuse are responsible for their own actions - it is not the fault of the person who is victimized.
Myth: Battering only occurs in families that are poor and uneducated.
Fact: Statistics show that domestic violence occurs in ALL types of home - including those of doctors, lawyers and prominent public figures.
How prevalent is domestic violence?
- Every 15 seconds a woman is battered in the United States.
- Every five years, domestic violence kills as many women as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War.
- Domestic violence is the single largest cause of injury to women in the United States, more common than injuries sustained from car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
- Thirty-five percent of women who seek treatment at hospital emergency rooms are there for symptoms of ongoing abuse.
- Violence will occur at least once in two-thirds of all marriages.
- Ten women a day are killed by their partners.
- It is estimated that 52% of all female homicide victims are killed by their partners.
- Six million women per year are assaulted by their partners.
What is the cost to society?
- Domestic Violence occurs among all races, religions and socioeconomic groups.
- Annual health care costs for treatment of injuries due to domestic violence are estimated to be between five and ten billion dollars.
- Two and one half billion dollars of health insurance benefits are spent annually on injuries from domestic violence.
- Four and one half billion dollars of health insurance benefits are lost nationally in time domestic violence victims miss from work due to injuries.
How can I recognize an unhealthy relationship?
- Is jealous and possessive of you. Won't let you have friends. Checks up on you. Won't accept breaking up.
- Tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders and/or making all the decisions. Doesn't take your opinion seriously.
- Is scary. You worry about how he/she will react to things you say or do. Threatens you. Uses or owns weapons.
- Blames you when he/she mistreats you. Says you provoked him/her, pressed his/her buttons, made him/her do it or lead him/her on.
- Pressures you for sex. Is forceful or scary about sex. Thinks women and girls are sex objects.
- Is violent. Has a history of fighting. Loses temper quickly. Brags about mistreating others.
What are signs of a healthy relationship?
- Trusts partner.
- Accepts the other partner's friends and family without jealousy.
- Allows for each partner's individuality.
- Allows for growth and change without one or the other partner being threatened.
- Does not attempt to control or change the other partner.
- Encourages self-sufficiency in each partner.
- Encourages high self-esteem in each partner.
What are common ploys used by abusers which frequently play on the victim's emotions of fear, guilt, concern and trust?
There are many reasons women stay in abusive relationships. The following is only a partial list:
- Threats of suicide. Threatens to kill the victims, the children or counselors.
- Files a missing person's report to enlist the help of police to track down the survivor.
- Threats of legal actions, such as taking away the survivor's child custody.
- Harassing or threatening relatives or friends.
- Burns clothes or belongings as symbolic gesture.
- Crying, saying he can't live without her.
- Promises to get counseling.
- Becomes suddenly religious.
- Makes general promises, such as not abusing her again, giving up drinking or drugs.
What keeps women in an abusive relationship?
- Loves him
- Threats of harm
- Children want dad/pressure from children
- Money/financial problems without him
- Hope it's going to improve/hope he'll change
- Fear of physical harm
- Treats of harm
- Fear of losing children
- Low self-esteem
- Sex
- Apologies/crying
- Religion/culture
- Nowhere to go
- Threats of suicide by him
- Completely isolated
If a woman actually does leave, her problems are not always solved. An abuser stands to lose a lot, too, if his partner leaves. He loses his relationship, which is often necessary for his identity. He loses his woman, which is his scapegoat and living proof of his power and superiority. And unfortunately, some men would rather kill their wives than allow them to leave.
What are the effects of family violence on the victims?
- Shame
- Isolation from others
- Depression
- Increased substance abuse
- Emotional problems
- Low self-esteem
- Illness, pain, injuries
- Permanent physical damage
- Death
What are the effects of family violence on the children?
- Emotional problems
- Illness and injuries
- Death
- Developmental delays
- Repetition of abusive behavior
- Decreased self-esteem
- Belief that violence is their fault
What are the effects of family violence on the offenders?
- Belief that Power and Control are achieved through abuse (violence)
- Increased contact with Criminal Justice system
- Superficial relationships
- Anxiety, stress
- Loss of intimacy
- Incarceration
What are the effects of family violence on society?
- Increased crime
- Increased medical, legal, police and counseling costs
- Cost of Incarceration
- Decreased quality of life
- Community problems: crime, drugs, alcohol, abuse, runaway teens and suicide.
Can Turning Point help victims find an attorney?
Turning point has a good working relationship with legal aid and area attorneys. We have a listing of attorneys who will take cases pro bono (free) or at a reduced rate. They will also work with victims to set up a payment plan.
What rights do victims have regarding child custody?
Turning Point has access to the latest statues regarding custody rights. For example, according to the Ohio Revised Code Section 3109.42, an unmarried female who gives birth to a child is the sole residential parent and legal custodian of the child until a court of competent jurisdiction issues an order designating another person.
How can the victim keep the abuser away from her/him?
Turning Point can explain the difference between the various types of protection orders. A Temporary Protection Order is issued after criminal charges have been filed by the state. A Civil Protection Order is obtained through Common Pleas Courts by the victims petitioning the court. Turning Point advocates accompany the victims through the entire legal process and provide support to them.
What can I do if I know someone who is being abused?
- Ask direct questions, giving her ample opportunity to talk
- Listen without judging. Abused women feel responsible, ashamed and inadequate.
- Explain that violence in a relationship is never acceptable at any time
- If you see or hear an assault in progress, call the police
- If the victim decides to remain in the relationship, continue to be her friend while at the same time firmly communicating there is no excuse for abuse
- Provide her with information about local resources
- Emphasize that if she leaves the situation that help is available
What counties are served by Turning Point?
Crawford, Delaware, Marion, Morrow, Union and Wyandot
